10/03/2002

 

The hazards of airborne sex

Tonight I was painting my mother-in-law's porch (will we ever be done with that damn house?) and the paint lid was next to me, paint side up. Suddenly this pair of mating flies came whizzing by my head. Clearly they were too, um, preoccupied to steer particularly well - because they crashed right into the paint lid. The male (no, I didn't look that closely, I'm going on position here!) got away with only white feet and spots on his head and wing. The poor female became Albino Fly. Needless to say, this interrupted their little tryst. They were both staggering around dazed, leaving tiny paint trails on the porch. And I was sitting there thinking, how it must suck to be flying around carefree, doin' the wild thing in the air, and suddenly find yourself smacking headfirst into a blob of paint. I mean, what a way to kill the mood! And kill your relationship for that matter. The poor female's wings were painted together, the last I saw her she was crawling off somewhere, probably grumbling "You idiot, I told you I couldn't steer with you on top of me!" The male appeared to be desperately trying to clean the paint off his legs. He may at least survive and find another mate, if he can find one who doesn't mind a spotted fly. Hopefully next time he'll stay on the ground!

10:30 PM